Effort & Ease | The Practice of Finding Balance
During the summer, I was fortunate to attend a beautiful yoga retreat on Clare Island. While I was initially worried that my skills might not be up to snuff, I quickly learned that the approach of Ciara and Christophe, the incredible couple who run the retreat, was far different from what I had anticipated.
The retreat was not about headstands, complicated postures, or even the fitness aspect we have become accustomed to in westernized yoga. Instead, what I understood to be at the core of their yoga and meditation teachings, was to build a set of practices where we can transfer our learnings from yoga and meditation to the rest of our lives. In other words, how to foster spaces that support us to learn, grow, be present and be more deeply connected to ourselves.
One of the major themes they spoke to throughout our time on Clare Island was the relationship between effort and ease. It has stayed prominent within my thoughts since that weekend in early August, providing a framework for consideration and given me pause for reflection.
The Relationship Between Effort & Ease
Ciara initially introduced this idea with the example of how many yoga classes are formatted. You work hard, you push yourself to the limit, breathe through the pain, and then you relax and unwind in restorative postures. Effort and then ease. You earn it.
She invited us to let go of this idea of one and then the other and challenged us to introduce ease into moments of effort. To consider, what if it was possible to find a balance between the two.
The unique thing about this is that it's something only you, the practitioner can know. For example, in a challenging balance posture, asking ourselves, are we leaning a bit further into this because we are being driven by our ego to look a certain way?
What if we listened to our bodies, connected with how it felt and continued to expand or extend with deep, supportive breaths to find and land in the balance between effort and ease that feels right for us.
While I am writing about this within the context of yoga, in returning to Ciara and Christophe's point of understanding yoga as a practice for life, what if we thought about this within other tasks we find challenging? Like; writing a difficult email, completing a tough presentation, or addressing an ongoing conflict?
Perhaps introducing ease is in the unclenching of your jaw, a drop of the shoulders, a deep sigh or a couple of long slow breaths with our eyes closed and our hands on our belly.
With this in mind, Yoga becomes the place where we quite literally PRACTICE introducing ease or finding the balance, the sweet spot, the place that feels stretchy but still juicy, between effort and ease.
(Also, let’s be clear here! You do NOT have to do yoga to take on these learnings! It is just how I was introduced to them, and provides a solid example to build from!)
Why This Might Feel Hard
Inviting ease into our effort runs completely counter to the dominant idea of Work Hard, Play Hard. This mentality is at the core of the approach of running yourself into the ground, and then hoping that a week-long holiday will recoup you sufficiently before doing it all over again. The approach that says we must be sufficiently productive to earn a break.
Striving to be productive is so entrenched in our day-to-day lives that it is often how we determine if something was successful and if so, we then reward ourselves for it. Effort and then ease.
Now beating ourselves up about this will NOT be helpful, so let me be clear, that is NOT my intention here!
Rather, I think for so many of us, we do not even realize that this is the subconscious pattern or framework by which we are assessing ourselves and organizing our time. I say ‘our’ because while I am aware of it, I can still see how this dominant approach influences me.
I believe this, work hard, play hard, effort and then ease, productivity and reward approach is deeply rooted in the hyper-capitalist world we are living in. One where a small percentage profit off of the narrative that to rest is to be lazy.
Quite to the contrary, to give yourself the time and space to be, to take the pressure off where possible, creates spaciousness and can facilitate powerful changes. Or simply leave you feeling substantially less exhausted at the end of a day, with energy left to do the things that fill you up. Which, let me be clear, I fundamentally believe you deserve irrespective of how productive you have been in a day!
How Can I Gently Introduce Ease?
Life will always have challenges, but learning to move through them by increasingly calling in ease and seeking balance can be a game-changer.
So the questions to ask become:
What are the people, places or things that will make the task ahead feel easier?
E.g.
Music that soothes
A calming place in your home, maybe cleaning it first
A delicious snack, or warm cosy drink
The company of a supportive friend/loved one
What is the story that am I telling myself?
How can I let go of additional pressure or expectations?
Are they being driven by my ego? (like a balancing yoga pose!)
Introducing ease does not mean the effort is any less valuable. Our society is very much addicted to the struggle, and many wear exhaustion as a badge of honour. So while these things may sound simple, be gentle with yourself. If you feel resistance in inviting in ease, remember that many of us are so hardwired to the idea that success (in whatever way we frame it) must be a grind!
For both myself, and my beautiful 1-1 clients, I am trying to support us to let go of these narratives, to embrace all of the opportunities, and the joy that flows, when we lean into/ invite ease into our effort. I believe these are the moments where we are truly living, those with ease and space to be fully present, to soak in what we are experiencing.
Please know that I share my experiences, learnings, and what has worked for me, with the hope that these perspectives and suggestions will support you to build a life you feel more excited, clear and confident every day.
If this post has felt supportive for you, it would mean the world to me if you shared it with a friend or let me know your thoughts, always happy to receive questions, comments or inquires about how we can work together! ♡
